Impressions
by Rose0404
Summary: How can I convince them to let me join! Zuko shouted. Impressions? Yeah, that'd work... Now, what would Azula/Uncle/Jet/Aang/Katara/Sokka/Toph/Mai/Tylee do? And! What happens when he actually starts USING them?
1. Impressions

**WARNING: _SLIGHT_ spoilers!**

Zuko was in the middle of the forest, trying to find the Avatar. Again. Only this time, he wanted to _help_ him. But how was he going to convince him that he was a "good-guy" now?

Impressions.

Yeah, that would work! _Best plan ever! Yeah, impressions, yeah..._

_What would Uncle do?_ Zuko asked himself.

**"Well, what you must do is find your true self. But your true self is argueing with yourself, yourself. So you must look deep inside yourself, to find your true self, which is hiding from yourself. And then you must--is that tea?! ...And is that a woman **_**carrying **_**the tea? I think it's time for you to get a girl, Prince Zuko. Here, I'll even introduce you to the nice tea-carrying lady! HI LADY!! WILL YOU DATE MY NEPHEW? Prince Zuko, sit up straight! Here, let me fix your hair! licks hand; pats Zuko's hair There! All better!"**

"AUGH! Even when I'm talking like Uncle, I _still _can't understand him!" Zuko growled, getting mad. (what a shocker!)

_Well, what would Azula do?_ Zuko wondered.

**"Well, Avatar. You have two choices: You can let me join your group, or I can do unspeakably horrible things to you and your friends. Because **_**I'm **_**a lightning bender! shuffle shuffle; pokes imaginary Aang ZAP!! Oooooooh! What now?! Yeah, I'm special, BE JEALOUS, PEASANTS!! Yeah, I'll see you later, **_**boy**_**!" **Zuko turned to the imaginary Ty Lee and Mai. **"Laaaater! wink wink MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"**

"...ew." Zuko shuddered.

_Maybe to convince the Avatar, I need to **think** like the Avatar! So what would he do?_

**"Hiya! Wanna be friends? Do ya, huh huh? It'll be fun and we can go PENGUIN SLEDDING!! WHOO! And--hey Katara! Watch this! If you rub my head hard enough, you can see your reflection! Wanna see? 'Cuz I mean you're really pretty and all, I mean, not that I was looking or anything! Well, I mean, who wouldn't want to look at you, but I'm just not like that. I still like you and all, I just don't like like you, I mean, yes! Yes, I do! I mean, no I don't! I just...never mind."**

"It's not working! Why isn't this working?!" Zuko shouted, growing more and more frustrated.

_Well, what about...um, JET! They're friends with him, right?!_

**"Firenation? Firenation. Firenation! FIRENATION!! OMFG!! They're everywhere! It's like they're taking over the world or something! I'll kill them all and--hey look! Ass! slides up next to imaginary Katara Hey, babe! You wanna help me polish my sword? wiggles eyebrows Oh yeah, you know you want it! Hey! Come back!"**

"Ugh. Yuck. How old is that guy anyway?! Like three years older than her?! Creep." Zuko muttered, shuddering again.

_Okay, let's move on to some people that are less...kinky. What about Sokka? He's the Avatar's best friend or whatever..._

**"Are you Firenation? I bet you are! You're probably a spy sent to...spy on us and...um, stuff!! continued skepticism ...and stay away from Katara, or I'll hit you with my Earth Kingdom purse! Which totally matches my belt by the way...Oh! What's that you say? You brought meat?! FOR ME?! Okay, guys, he's cool! NOW GIVE ME MY MEAT!!"**

"Hm, note to self: Bring meat." Zuko said, writing it down on his hand.

_What about that water peasant, Katara? The Avatar's always making googly eyes over her..._

**"Hi! I'm Katara, and I'm going to save the world, and end world hunger, and donate to charity, and help everyone I can! Except for when I'm PMSing. Then I'm going to hop on my menstrual cycle, and run your sexist ass over! It even has a sound too! It goes: nagnagnagnagnanagnagnag biiiiiitch bitchbiiiiiiitch bitchbiiiiiiitch! But other than that, I love everyone! EXCEPT FIRENATION! THEY SHALL ROT IN HEEEEEELL! Okie-dokie then! Bye!"**

"...damn, he _must_ be whipped if he likes _her_!" Zuko said, snickering.

_There's always that one other girl. Um...Toph! Yeah, she hangs out with him!_

**"Yo. You gonna let me join your gang or what, monk boy. I'll carry my own weight and everything...and um...psh. This lame. See ya, suckers!"**

"Okay, definitely _not_ it!"

_I suppose I could try and do Mai and Ty Lee..._

**"I'm bored."**

**"YAY!! LET'S ALL BE FRIENDS! We can go to Happy Bunny Land, and play wif all the pwetty bunnies! 'Cuz in Happy Bunny Land, all the people are ponies, and they all eat rainbows, and poop butterflies! YAAAAAAAY!"**

"THAT'S IT! I'M THROUGH WITH STUPID IMPRESSIONS! I'LL JUST ASK THEM MYSELF!" Zuko shouted, fed up.

He stomped off, and amazingly enough, managed to find them. "Hey, so um," LIIIIICK

"Appa! Don't lick that! You don't know where's it's been!" Sokka said, smirking slightly.

"Yeah, well, I'm a good guy now, so um...I think it's time I joined your group and helped teach the Avatar firebending." Zuko said, bowing on his knees.

Katara waterbended a wave of water at him, and swept him away.

Zuko picked himself up, and said, "Yeah, um, we can talk later, bye!"

When he got back to camp he slapped his forehead. "Stupid, stupid, stupid! I should've done the Jet one!"

**a/n: lol just a random drabble that I thought up. Sooooo, review and tell me which one you like best! (And don't worry, I'll update my other stories too...maybe) I haven't seen the new episodes, I just heard about them, so the beginning and ending aren't entirely accurate...**


	2. The Real World!

_Impressions 2:_

_The Real World!_

**a/n: 'Sup homies!! lol (I'm probably the whitest person on the planet...literally. I don't tan. EVER!! -grumble- not fair -grumble-)**

**ANYWAY!! So here's what's up: You all loved Zuko's impressions, RIGHT?! Soooooo...I got to thinking. (uh oh!) What if he actually USED them?**

**Which presented some very hard questions:**

**WHY would he use them?**

**WHEN would he use them?**

**HOW would he use them?**

**WHERE would he use them?**

**WHO would he use them _on_?**

**and**

**WHAT would happen if he did?**

**Well, I've already typed _this_ chapter out, (and the next) but if you want to see the next, next chapter, then just answer the above questions in a review, and you just might see it happen!! ;D**

* * *

**Zuko POV**

So. I finally convinced Aang to let me join. (I used the Uncle impression...for some reason, that made Toph vote for me, and after that, the rest slowly followed.)

Here's what happened:

Toph snuck up on me in the middle of the night. She said she was trying to help me, because she believed me, but how the hell should I know that?! So, I kinda, um...burned her feet. Oops.

After I swallowed my pride (nearly ripped my throat open...metafo-metafour-metaphorically of course) and apologized several times, she accepted my apology. By hitting me in the crotch with a rock pillar. (The bigger they are, the harder they fall. See, I can quote wise...quotey...quotes...WHATEVER!!)

After that, The Avatar and I talked.

"Well, um, you see...Uncle says that because I have the blood of an Avatar, and the Firelord in me I--" I started to say.

"You're related to an Avatar?!" He asked, staring at me.

"Yeah." I muttered.

"So we're like, brothers!"

Now I stared at him. "B-brothers?!"

I did NOT have good experiences with siblings. But...maybe brothers are better? No. He's still annoying. You're only joining to help overthrow the Firelord...right?

"Yeah. Toph says you weren't lying, and you _did_ apologize. Besides, you seem like a funny guy!" He said, grinning.

A funny guy? Me?! What the _hell_ was he smoking?!

"I am not!"

He laughed. "Sorry. Can't fool me. Sokka told me about the time he hit you with his boomerang. Sounds funny to me."

"Well, it wasn't to me!" I was really starting to get annoyed! Was he _trying _to insult me?!

The Avatar looked down. He was probably just trying to hide another grin. "Sorry."

I snorted. "Yeah, well...whatever." I finally muttered.

He grinned at me. I ignored him. Finally, after at least thirty seconds he said, "What was that your Uncle said?"

"That my true self, and my current self are battling. And that I have to look inside myself to find my true self, but it's hiding from myself, so I'll have to stop being myself to find my true self which is really just myself, only not myself." I said, expecting him to be just as confused as I was. (Just saying that hurts my brain...)

"So, basically he's saying that being mean and angry all the time isn't really you. And that you're really a nice guy. You just have to calm down enough to realize that. Then, you might be able to be at peace, and find your true destiny." The Avatar said, not missing a beat.

I stared at him. "You got all that, from that bunch of shit I just said?"

"No offense, but duh."

I sighed. "No wonder you're the Avatar."

"I have a name you know."

I blinked. No, I didn't know. "What is it?"

"Aang." He said, grinning.

"Oh."

"Well, why don't you come back to camp?" The Ava—Aang asked.

"Sure." For some idiotic reason, I found myself smiling.

"Hey Sokka? What does shit mean?"

And it's gone again.

* * *

**a/n: I know, this one isn't very funny, but LE GASP! It actually has something of a plot! AND Zuko isn't completely OOC! DOUBLE LE GASP!!**

**But, I assure you, this was just to get the story going. All the rest of the chapter WILL be funny! (and yes, I will reuse the Uncle impression since this chapter sucked)**

**I do however, like the ending! XD**


	3. Polish my sword?

_Impressions 2:_

_Ass!_

I'd been with the Gaang (stupid name, I know) for about a week now. And Katara was slowly getting used to me. Slowly. I however, was very used to her. Or, I would be if she'd give me a chance!

I'd always been so busy fighting her, that I'd never looked at her. I mean, really _looked._ And now that I have, I can't stop.

I swear to Agni, she was meant to be a firebender. She has so much drive, and spunk, and determination. She always sticks up for her friends (and anyone else) and does what she thinks is right, no matter what.

She's sweet, and kind, and smart! All the Firenation women are just...well, trophy wives. But she's...real.

Oh, and she has an ass.

I'm not being mean, but all the Firenation women are like sticks. Pale, wimpy, skinny, curveless sticks.

And then suddenly, Katara comes along with caramel-colored skin, and spunk, and an _ass_!

So, anyway. I heard from Rocky (Toph...I'm not good with nicknames, okay?!) that Katara used to like Jet! After I got done burning several trees, I got an idea.

The Jet impression.

* * *

_A half hour later..._

Finally! I thought they'd never leave! I sent Aang to go do his firebending training by doing his breathing exercises. On a mountain. Far, far away.

And Toph seemed amused by my plan, so she agreed to take Sokka with her to go look for food and berries so she wouldn't get lost. (Luckily, Sokka was too occupied with the thought of food to realize Toph could find her way around better than _he_ could.)

Now, it was just me and her.

I tried to slide up to her, all smooth-like, but I tripped on a root, and fell in her cooking pots. (Not to self: Burn root.)

"Hey baby." I said, recovering.

"_What_ are you doing?!" She demanded.

_Spirits, she's sexy when she's mad..._"What do you want me to be doing?" I asked, grinning.

"Well, you could start by getting out of my way, and finish by soaking your head." She retorted, as I got back to my feet.

_I love it when she glares at me...it's so cute. _"So you've been having fantasies about me being wet and uh...drippy?" I asked, still grinning.

She snorted. "Yeah, drowning maybe."

_She's so beautiful..._"Oh, come on! You know you want it..." I said, lowing my voice to what I hoped was a sexy whisper.

"Want what? And what's wrong with your voice?" She asked, confused.

I stared. There's no way she could be that naive! I blinked, and then continued. "She's even cuter when she's confused." _Oh, I know exactly what you want!_

Wait! Something just got mixed up there!

"What?! Did Sokka give you cactus juice?" Katara asked, looking freaked out.

_Oh shit! Think, Zuko, think!!_ "You wanna help me polish my sword?" I blurted out. After missing a beat, I managed to wiggle my eyebrows—er, eyebrow.

"Um, sure." She said, still looking a little confused, but at least not freaked out.

_SCORE!! _"Okay, let's go!" I said, grinning. (I probably looked stupid, but I was too happy to care.)

She looked at me kinda funny, then went over to my bags, took out some lotiony stuff and a cloth and...started polishing my swords?!

No. Fucking. Way.

She thought I _actually_ meant, polish my sword, or rather, swords.

"DAMN YOU JET!!" I shouted, before stomping off to my tent.

**Katara POV**

What the hell is wrong with him? He's been acting really strange...Oh well. Probably just a severe case of stupidjerkitous.

I giggled, put away his swords, (obviously I wasn't polishing them right or something) and continued making supper before realizing that he really would look good wet...

And drippy.

* * *

**a/n: LOL LOL L.O.L. I could totally see him doing that too! Well, the next chapter is all up to you awesome reviews, so get busy...reviewing! Get busy _reviewing_!**

**PS: Yes, I am a Zutara fan! But, I also realize that Kataang is inevitable. (Because she's being forced to like Aang, even thought she really likes Zuko better! They just can't do that because it would be too smexy hot for a kids show...)**


	4. Kataang

**a/n: Okay, I know I haven't updated in a while, but I was just hit with inspiration this morning, as I lay in bed, thinking up new ideas for my stories! So, this is a little different, but I think that it's hilariously funny! :D**

**PS: Does anyone know the correct spelling of Monk Gyoughtsu's name? (Aang's old mentor)**

**PSS: This is set in the Western Air Temple.**

_**AANG'S POV:**_

Zuko.

How I hated that name!

Yes I, Aang the monk, hate him. I know it's wrong but...AUGH! He's doing it again!

I glared at him as he "accidentally" brushed his hand against Katara's hand when she gave him his tea. He didn't even _like_ tea!

Yesterday, he even gave me this stupid assignment...

"Breathing exercises on top of a mountain while watching the sun."

On top of a conveniently far away mountain, while Toph and Sokka just _happened_ to wander off "gathering food," leaving _him_ alone with _my_ Katara!

Okay, so maybe she wasn't mine, (yet) but she's more mine than his!

But I had a plan, and I _would_ win back Katara!

Now would be a good time for evil laughter...

_**KATARA'S POV:**_

Aang and Zuko were acting really weird. They were always near me, or trying to be, and acting really nice and stuff. Even Zuko!

Nice Zuko is _soooo _much scarier than mean Zuko.

See! He's doing it again! Zuko just touched my hand as I gave him his tea and grinned at me. GRINNED!!

And now Aang is doing that silly little marble-spinning trick and smiling really funny at me too!

Must be the heat or something.

"Hey Zuko, could I see you for a minute? I want to show you something." Aang said.

"Uh...okay."

They walked off, and I quickly checked the water to make sure nothing was wrong with it...

_**ZUKO'S POV:**_

Why was Aang suddenly being friendly to me? I know he hates me.

He's just jealous because Katara likes me best.

Aang was chattering on about finding some old firebending scroll in the library.

We stopped next to a door and I said, "I didn't know that this lead to the library."

"It doesn't."

Wait, what?!

Aang opened the door, hit me with an air blast to knock me inside, and then shut and locked it.

"This is actually a training room one of my old firebender friends had built. The walls, ceiling, floor, and door are completely fireproof."

"Aang, let me out of here!" I shouted, shooting a useless fireball at the door.

"Sorry, Sifu Hotman. No can do. You see, Katara and I have plans, oh! Was that her calling my name? Gotta go!" Came an obnoxiously smug voice from the other side of the door.

"I'll let you out afterwards...so if I don't come back until dark, or midnight, or even the next morning...well, oh well." Aang called back, as he left.

I could literally feel my blood boiling.

"You won't get away with this!" I roared, flames coming from my mouth.

Then: _Did __**I **__just say that to __**Aang**__? Oh, the irony._

_**AANG'S POV:**_

Now that Zuko's out of the way, all I need to do now is get rid of Toph and Sokka.

"Hey, Twinkletoes! You didn't by any chance just lock Zuko in there, did you?" Toph asked, grinning wickedly.

"Um, no?"

Toph snorted, "So what's that angry roaring sound?!"

"Uh...my pet baby lionmoosechickenpanda cub!"

"Your pet...lionmoosechickenpanda cub." Toph said slowly.

"_Baby_ lionmoosechickenpanda cub." I corrected.

"Riiiiiiight. So why is your heart rate speeding up?"

"I just...he looks like the one Monk Gyoughtsu had, and I just...I get emotional okay?!" I said, fake sniffling.

"I'm so sure."

"No really, I—"

"Save it, Monk Boy. I won't tell Katara about Zuko, or let him out, if you can do one little favor for me." Toph said, the grin on her face bordering on scary.

I gulped. "Yeah?"

_**TOPH'S POV:**_

I smiled as Sokka and I walked down to the stream.

Who cares if I couldn't fish?

Who cares if I hate fish?

Who cares if I can't even swim?

Not me. I was with Sokka, and that's all that mattered.

"Hey Toph! Watch out!" Sokka shouted.

I had been so caught up with my daydreaming, I leaned too far out of the canoe, and fell out.

"Help! Sokka! I'm drowning! I'm drow—" My feet touched the bottom and I stood up, in knee-high water. "ning." I finished lamely.

I sullenly climbed back in the boat.

I hate water. I thought grumpily.

Fish fuck in it!

_**AANG'S POV:**_

Now that Toph and Sokka were out of the way, it was just me and Katara.

Only problem is, she likes bad boys.

Jet: Psycho serial killer.

Zuko: Asshole with anger management issues.

Haru: Got arrested, along with his dad.

Hm, well, she hates Jet now, and Haru's probably gay so...I know!

I'll act like Zuko!

_**KATARA'S POV:**_

Aang came back from wherever, but Zuko was still gone. And Toph and Sokka had disappeared too!

"Where is everybody?" I asked.

"Out fishing." He muttered, what little bangs he had pulled over his face.

"Oh."

"..."

"So...what's up?" I asked, not knowing what else to say.

"Oh nothing..."

I sighed, thinking he was finished.

"Except the world hates me! I betrayed Monk Gyoughtsu, and left him! All my friends are dead, I don't have a family, and I miss my mommy!" Aang shouted, kicking a rock that bounced off a wall, and hit him in the head, or rather his right eye.

"Aang! Are you okay?" I cried, running over, lightly touching the already bruised skin.

"Yeah."

"Don't worry I can heal it." I said.

"No! Don't touch me!" Aang said, flinching away from me.

I blinked, hurt. "Wh-why not?"

"Because I'm mad, and I'm going to yell at the people I lo—that are close to me!"

"What?"

"You heard me! I-I'm mad, and I'm going to um, regain my honor!" He shouted.

Okay, there was _definitely_ something wrong with the water.

"Just calm down Aang. Drink some tea." I suggested.

"No! I don't want any stupid tea!" He yelled, crossing his arms and pouting like a spoiled five-year-old.

I giggled. Aang pouting was just _too_ cute!

I sat next to him, and pulled his silly bangs out of his face, before lightly tracing his bruise. "Are you sure there's nothing I can do?" I whispered softly.

"Kiss make it better." He muttered.

I blinked. "Uh...okay."

_**AANG'S POV:**_

My eyes widened.

_It's actually working!_

Katara got up, and started rummaging through her bag. Probably for lip gloss.

Meanwhile, I ate like, a dozen breath mints, and tried to keep from hyperventilating.

Katara walked back towards me, hips swaying slightly.

I grinned at her, and she held out her hand.

"Here." She said, smiling.

In it lay a chocolate kiss.

"DAMN YOU ZUKO!!" I shouted, storming back to my room.

_**KATARA'S POV:**_

I watched Aang storm off, confused.

It was a perfectly fine chocolate kiss!

I looked at it carefully, then unwrapped it, and cautiously licked it.

It didn't seem too bad. Perfectly normal. Then, with shocking realization, I figured out why Aang was so mad!

He must be lactose intolerant!

**a/n: hahahaha! Lactose intolerant! XD**


	5. All Bets Are OFF!

**All Bets Are OFF!!**

"Psst! Sparky! PSSSSSST!" Toph hissed.

"What?!"

"Well, fine then! Be that way! I guess I _won't_ be helping you out then!" Toph said, crossing her arms.

Yes, I was still stuck in the fireproof room. Damn monks.

"Hey, wait! I uh...I take it back!" I shouted.

"Geez. I'm just on the other side of the wall. No need to shout." Toph muttered.

"So...are you gonna get me out or what?" I asked.

"Yeah."

"..."

"..."

"Well?!"

"Okay, okay! Hold your ostrich-horses!" Toph grumped, before earthbending the door open.

I ran out. "HA!! Take that _room_!!" I shouted, throwing a fireball at it.

But it kinda ricocheted off of the fireproof/repellent walls, and hit me in the chest, knocking me into the wall.

Toph doubled over laughing, before wiping an imaginary tear from her eye. "Man, this is fun!"

I glared at her. "Why'd you even let me out anyway?"

She just shrugged. "I was bored. Okay, well...see ya!" She grinned, and walked off, humming slightly.

Now what? Oh, right. Kill Aang.

"Oh hey Zuko! Where have you been?" Katara asked, coming up behind me.

Actually, maybe that could wait.

I leaned against the wall, and casually crossed my ankles. "Oh, around."

"Oh."

We stared at each other for a few seconds, before I grinned.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Whaaaat?" Katara asked, pouting cutely.

Only that pout made me forget what I was grinning about.

"Uh..." I nervously shifted on the wall. Only, it was kinda slick, and I fell sideways, effectively doing a face plant on the floor.

"Oh!" Katara cried, running over to help me up. "Are you okay?!"

I muttered "Yeah." and stood up, not meeting her eyes. _Stupid, stupid, stupid!!_

She giggled, and then shyly reached up to touch my bruised cheek.

I finally met her eyes, and moved closer.

"Zuko..." She whispered quietly.

I leaned even closer, and her face moved to meet mine. Our lips drew closer, and closer...

"Katara!" Sokka shouted. "I ripped my pants again!"

She quickly turned away. "Coming!" She shouted, and ran off, not even _glancing_ at me!

I waited until she was gone, before slamming my fist into the wall. "Shit!"

I was going to _hurt_ Sokka! I mean, how the hell do you rip your pants anyway?!

Then I remembered Toph's grin. _Hmmm..._

Nah.

I still added Sokka to my list, right under Aang and Azula.

Speaking...er thinking of Aang...

I went off in search of him. He was _so _dead!

"AHA! Found you!" Aang shouted.

I whipped around. Where had he come from?!

"No, it is _I _that has found you!" I shouted. Wow. That sounded whole lot less lame in my head...

"Huh?"

"Never mind!"

Aang shook his head. "Whatever!"

I lit a fireball in my hand. "You get a ten second head start."

"What? That's not what—"

"One."

"Zuko! I—"

"Two."

"Will you just stop—"

"Three." I threw the fireball, at him.

He ducked, and got back up. "What happened to four through ten?!" He demanded.

I shrugged. "I always did suck at math." I lit another fireball.

"NO!" He shouted. "I came to offer a truce."

I paused. "Truce?"

"Yes. I'm the Avatar, and you still have to teach me firebending. We can't fight each other." He said.

I frowned. "And Katara?"

He took a deep breath. "We...flip a coin."

I stared at him. "That's it?! No battle to the death? Test of skills? Epic fights? Nothing?!"

He shook his head. "No fighting, remember."

I let my fireball go out. "Damn."

He took out a coin. "Okay, whoever wins gets Katara. Loser has to stand by—no sabotaging!"

I nodded. "Deal."

He flipped it. "Call it."

"Heads." I said.

"Tails."

It fell, and started spinning.

"How could you?!" Demanded a voice from the doorway.

We both turned around. "Katara?!"

"How could you bet on me like, like an object! I hate you! I hate you both!!" She shouted, before running away, crying.

The coin dropped. But neither of us could look at it.

"So...now what?" I asked.

"Well..." Aang said. "We could always be gay together."

**a/n: OMG! SOOO sorry for the long update, but I just couldn't think of anything! Luckily for us both, I had an idea for this chapter **_**and**_** the next!! WHOO! XD**


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